Blind Iced Eyes

Disappear

2011-09-09T10:26:00.000-07:00

Still chasing the mythology of Nothing
Why do you long to leave everything behind?
To sink beneath, or retreat between the seams

Nothing grows inside
A will expired, the pulse retired
Spending all your time...
Spending your whole life...

Longing for nothing more
A wish to leave silently
To disappear into a dream
Erased—to cease completely

When emptiness takes hold
You fall so low
When the warmth of life goes cold
Fall so low

Love This Flyer

2011-05-14T11:49:00.000-07:00

Killing Time, Sheer Terror. Circa 1990. Taken from youthcrimes.blogspot.com/

Skin Like Iron "Arrival" Record Release Gig

2011-05-04T00:39:00.000-07:00

New songs posted
skinlikeiron.bandcamp.com
skinlikeiron.bandcamp.com
skinlikeiron.bandcamp.com

2011-04-18T00:28:00.000-07:00

"The idea that God is an oversized white male with a flowing beard, who sits in the sky and tallies the fall of every sparrow is ludicrous. But if by 'God,' one means the set of physical laws that govern the universe, then clearly there is such a God. This God is emotionally unsatisfying... it does not make much sense to pray to the law of gravity."

Instagram

2011-03-29T00:51:00.000-07:00

Poster Drafts

2011-02-09T19:12:00.000-08:00

One of my courses this semester is based around the concept of curating a fictional music festival, featuring music of a specific (assigned) genre. Our responsibility is to provide the visual support for this festival. This will encompass a variety of printed material, as well as motion/film work, and a website.

After a couple weeks of research, and class presentations which were designed to familiarize our classmates with our musical genres, we're now in the first phases of our visual design. In the course of a week, we've produced 27 concept images. An initial round of 15, two refinements from that batch, and an additional 10. Next step is to pick the two most successful concepts, and create 10 variations on each.

Here are the designs that I'm most satisfied with as of yesterday. My genre is shoegaze, and my visual approach attempts to capture the dreaminess, mysteriousness and multi-layered nature of the genre. The phrases on the posters are a bit dadaist; pulled from stream of consciousness and chance pairings of words that I created from a pool of 100 words that I felt were apropos to the genre. A little silly at times, but it provides a bit of a foundation to build on.

2011-01-28T11:20:00.000-08:00

A grey landscape, all hues subdued
Eternal search, endless pursuit
And still the remedy eludes
So you will walk forever on through the gloom

Arrival, the new Skin Like Iron record in the works. Another day or two in the studio and it'll be ready to go to press.

Barry McGee Super 8 footage

2011-01-06T13:45:00.000-08:00

Via What You Write blog and The Creative Lives

Frisco

2011-01-04T15:22:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year

2011-01-03T00:57:00.000-08:00

2011 is off to a great start. I'm finally enjoying the opportunity to unwind after two solid months of 80+ hour work/school weeks. In the spirit of the New Year, here are some calendars I'm admiring:

Dimitre Lima

Foundry Collective

Alex Westgate

Next Friday

2010-12-11T01:05:00.000-08:00

2010-12-09T21:53:00.000-08:00

Secret People

2010-07-19T23:24:00.000-07:00

My friend, Max Montez, does an awful lot of work within the Bay Area hardcore/punk music scene. He's only 21, yet, he's already spent the past nearly 5 years booking shows, publishing zines and releasing records. In a few weeks, he'll be shipping copies of his latest release, a self-titled 7" by San Francisco hardcore group Secret People.

Relevant Links
downsidedrecords.com
SecretPeopleHC.blogspot.com

Reason Refrains

2010-07-14T18:15:00.000-07:00

Eyes go blind to the sights of life

It all begins to fade away

So you return to the sites of your life

With no memory of anything

Reason refrains

No reason remains

A gray landscape, all hues subdued

Eternal search, endless pursuit

Still, a remedy eludes

You will walk forever on through the gloom

Reason refrains

No reason remains

Cleo from 5 to 7

2010-04-27T16:59:00.000-07:00

Pat Robertson Is an Asshole

2010-04-22T09:44:00.000-07:00

So apparently the writers at Time Magazine have been really busy compiling Top 10 lists. I don't know if this is a new thing or a running feature, but, I was just on their website and they seem to have created a list for just about every topic you can think of. Regardless of whether or not it's even in dispute, this list offers pretty good evidence in support of the scientific fact that Pat Robertson is an enormous asshole.

Black Flames

2010-04-22T00:14:00.000-07:00

Integrity recently posted a new song on their website. The track is called Black Flames, and it will be on their new record to be released on Magic Bullet records. Dom Romeo—famous the world 'round for his involvement in A389 Records/Slumlords/Pulling Teeth—has deemed this record Integrity's best material since Seasons In The Size of Days. This is high praise, and I'm inclined to agree.

Survival Is Not A Right

2010-04-17T10:33:00.000-07:00

Nothing but one thing in life
Nature knows nothing of kind
Her cruelty wears no disguise
Do what you must just to survive

Mercy unknown
Foreign to most
Fleeting if granted at all
Breath in the lungs
Veins filled with blood

It's all that is granted for some
Comfort is nothing less than a privilege
No one is entitled to thrive

Survival is not a right
Dis-ease
Each day you open your eyes
It should only serve to remind you that survival is not a right

2010-04-15T00:13:00.000-07:00

I don't even like KISS, but have you ever thought about how much Peter Criss' makeup sucks in comparison to the makeup worn by the rest of the band?

Gene Simmons obviously has the coolest makeup; I think he's supposed to be a demon. Ace Frehley is supposed to be a spaceman or something. Paul Stanley has a star over his eye—which, come to think of it, is pretty lame too—but really, Peter Criss, is made up to look like a less than enthusiastic house-cat.

Frankly, I'm just baffled at how Mr. Criss settled upon his look. If I'm sitting in a room, brainstorming ideas for cool costumes, and my friends are throwing out ideas like wearing leather batwings, fire breathing, spitting blood and wearing spiked plates of armor, I'm sure as fuck not going to follow up with, "hey guys, how about I dress up like an especially tame looking cat?"

More Images

2010-04-13T03:07:00.001-07:00

Liliom

2010-04-12T15:46:00.000-07:00

Liliom

Fritz Lang 1934

You would do well by yourself to watch this film.

Happy Birthday, Sammy Winston

2010-04-12T13:05:00.000-07:00

Today is my friend, Sammy Winston's birthday. He's a writer, a musician, an artist, devoted husband and a loving father to two kitty cats. He does a bunch of cool shit that you should be aware of:

http://www.spiderghost.net
http://spiderghost.blogspot.com
http://www.myspace.com/gracealleysf
http://www.myspace.com/ramparts666
http://www.myspace.com/allbetsoff
http://spiderghostbooks.bigcartel.com/
http://spiderghostrecords.bigcartel.com/

2010-04-09T18:35:00.000-07:00

Preparing to record this weekend. Listening to Born Dead Icons will help set the appropriate mood.

Image Works

2010-04-08T10:35:00.000-07:00

Here are a few images that I'm creating for a story book. The basic parameters of the assignment called for me to shoot photos in a particular neighborhood of San Francisco (Chinatown/North Beach) and use those photos to create imagery to incorporate into the story of Hansel & Gretel.

The images themselves are meant to "suggest" rather than "depict". The character of the neighborhood is supposed to subtly flavor the graphics, rather than dictate any sort of concrete imagery.

Animals

2010-04-04T20:05:00.000-07:00

Like animals trapped in a cage

Numb to abuse, not even afraid anymore

Servile submission to the violent procession of unquestioned regression

Progress so proudly undone

These are the only days we'll ever know

Bruce Roehrs

2010-03-18T00:03:00.000-07:00

I just heard the news that Bruce Roehrs has died. I never knew him well, in fact, I can't claim to have known him for anything more than a few brief moments over the course of a couple fleeting encounters.

He seemed like a really cool dude. His columns for Maximum Rocknroll were always penned in his trademark, maniacal style. They were more or less the ravings of an enthusiastic man that obviously had a love for punk music and his community. It's so fucking sad to see him go. Here's a clipping of a review that he wrote about one of my band's (Skin Like Iron) records.

Nothing Remains II

2010-03-16T23:15:00.000-07:00

Nothing remains, nothing stands
In the shadows of a metropolis collapsed

Nothing remains of the days, when life once thrived
The sunshine—so bright—bright enough to blind your eyes
No memories remain to remind you of the time you were alive

Nothing remains, nothing is safe
Even yesterday may change

Eyes & Nine Days

2010-03-10T23:26:00.000-08:00

My buddy, Sammy Winston recently went along for the ride with Trash Talk on their 9 day tour. He kept a great journal, so, we decided to print it as a zine. 24 pages, including a center spread with dozens of photos from the trip. If you'd like to order a copy, head over to spiderghostbooks.bigcartel.com.

Sammy also has a blog that you can read here.

Friday, March 26th

2010-03-09T18:57:00.001-08:00

Surroundings returns to the west coast with a brand new album in tow:

Neurotic Organization

2010-03-07T13:27:00.000-08:00

Crow's Children Lost The Bright Future could possibly be one of the best songs ever written, hardcore or otherwise.

The entire record is pure genius. Get familiar: D/L courtesy of Crust Cracker Blog

Deutsch Kunst in der Punk-Rock-Bilder

2010-03-05T15:08:00.000-08:00

So I started off by simply wanting to post a couple of images that I liked. Then I noticed a common thread amongst the images, and decided to suss out a few more images in order to put together a small collection of German art that has been appropriated by punk rock bands.

Otto Dix - ottodix.org

John Heartfield - Wikipedia

Klaus Staeck - Wikipedia

Type As Image

2010-03-04T14:50:00.000-08:00

Over the past few weeks, I've been working on an assignment in my type class. Even though I thought that I had found a lot of success initially, I'm glad to have kept working on the project. Pushing my images further and further has proven fruitful.

The last few I've created are ones that I'm really pleased with.

2010-02-28T23:04:00.000-08:00

On my way home the other day, I spotted this truck. Since I happened to have my camera with me for the first time in a while, I jumped out of the car and started snapping away. It's been a couple months since I got the opportunity to get some reasonably good shots of some really good graffiti —now I know what I'll be doing on my spring break.

I've got over 1000 more graffiti photos on my Flickr page.

The Photos of Walter Yetman

2010-02-27T10:35:00.000-08:00

I've known Walter for a while now... probably about 5 or 6 years at least. He's one of those guys that you always see snapping pictures at shows. So what makes him different from the legions of other so called photographers out there? Oh yeah, he actually posts his work to share with the rest of the world.

How many times have you been at an amazing show, watching flashes pop left and right, only to to never see a single image of that show ever posted anywhere? He also does a good job keeping up with Bay Area graffiti, and has some interviews with writers on his blog. Follow Walter's work online at the following urls:

flickr.com/photos/loseryouthcrew

incarnate365.tumblr.com

Sightglass

2010-02-25T18:11:00.000-08:00

The afterburner is in place! One step closer to Sightglass roasting their own beans! Exclamation points!!!

More Type Experiments

2010-02-20T18:34:00.000-08:00

In my typography class, I was given four words to work with. For this assignment, I have to physically construct, or print out my words and photograph these physical representations of the words in a creative manner. In other words, this isn't about taking a photo and slapping some text over it in Photoshop.

Since these photos need to go beyond simple snapshots, I've gotta think about some interesting ways to create photos that aren't merely simple depictions of a word. Additionally, all of the "effects" I might use need to be created in camera. At first I was skeptical about my ability to meet this requirement. I've grown really accustomed to relying on Photoshop over the years, but it's awesome to be forced out of my comfort zone and now it feels like I'm really expanding my creative limits.

I'm happy with the results of my first experiments, but the fridge magnet letters may be a little cliche. Also, the surface that I photographed Wish on created a strange glow that makes it slightly illegible. I might experiment with some different letter forms and recreate this scene for my final presentation.

"I know that guy!"

2010-02-18T19:12:00.000-08:00

Graphic design is a strange thing; while it's inherently commercial and eminently visible in the world around us, it's a faceless industry. We don't know the names, let alone the faces behind the familiar graphics that surround us. One of my favorite things about studying graphic design is when you learn the identity of an artist whose work you're familiar with, but whose name and greater body of work you were previously unaware of. Some of my favorite examples of this:

Michael Schwab - michaelschwab.com

Lucian Bernhard - aiga.org/content.cfm/medalist-lucianbernhard

Matthew Carter - aiga.org/content.cfm/medalist-matthewcarter

Recently, with all the debate circling around Ikea's decision to abandon their use of Futura and begin using Verdana in their print advertisements, I couldn't help but think of how ugly a typeface Verdana is. Even in its intended environment (the computer screen) it's just an ugly looking font.

So who designed this ugly typeface? Probably some hack, right? I guess not. A few weeks ago, I was introduced to the classically informed, beautifully precise work of Matthew Carter - aka the man who created Verdana.

Pictured:
Verdana
Rocky
Mantinia

Type Experiments

2010-02-17T23:46:00.001-08:00

W - dissected, and reassembled.

Punishment

2010-02-17T01:58:00.000-08:00

In the absence of care, our bones have shown symptoms of wear.

A brutal grind straight through our hide.
A filthy fate of our own design.

It's a heavy weight to fit the crime.

Skateboarding

2010-02-07T21:35:00.000-08:00

Anybody else notice that skateboarding has been picking up steam again? I'm seeing more and more people skating in the past few months. Personally, I never learned to do anything more than stand on a board and roll down a slight incline, but that hasn't done anything to hinder my appreciation for the sport/act of rebellion.

This morning, while holed up in one of the design studios at school, I looked out the window and saw a bunch of teenagers across the street doing their thing on their skateboards. They moved along pretty quickly and were gone as suddenly as they had arrived. 30 minutes later, I heard the sickening sounds of children frolicking, and I looked out the window. The area where the skaters had been hanging out only half an hour prior was now overrun with a small mob of thirty-something yuppie parents and their attendant brats. I was genuinely upset to see them there!

Thankfully, they moved on after a few minutes. Before they left, I had to laugh to myself as I realized that the way I reacted to the presence of those families (in comparison to the way I felt about the skateboarders) pretty much ran counter to the way that most normal people would have felt about the situation.

Wouldn't it be nice if there were signs like these everywhere?

Trash Talk

2010-02-06T12:07:00.000-08:00

Last month, Trash Talk recorded a live performance to be aired on Fuel TV. I don't know anybody that subscribes to Fuel TV, so I tracked it down on the channel's website.

A lot of people love to talk shit on Trash Talk, and hey... I guess that's just the way it goes. Any time a band finds even limited success, there will be people who want to tear them down simply because they're popular. I see it differently. I remember them being a band that could barely get anybody to come see their shows. I also remember them being a band that didn't give a fuck that nobody really cared. They just hit the road, over and over again, and did their thing until people woke up and noticed that they were killing it!

Emigre Exhibition

2010-01-20T11:42:00.000-08:00

The work of Emigre, the legendary type/design/publishing powerhouse, is currently on exhibit at San Francisco's Gallery 16. I completely missed the opening (which was over a month ago), but luckily I still have 10 days to catch the show before it closes on January 30th.

Gallery 16 San Francisco
Emigre News Archive

Poster Cabaret

2010-01-20T11:24:00.000-08:00

Poster Cabaret showcases and sells the works of a number of talented designers. Poster art is usually pretty exciting, as that is its imperative; by their very nature, posters strive to entice and attract people to events, or to at least offer an enduring memento of the event. After only a few seconds of surfing through the site, it already looks like I may need to expand my collection.

Danzig by Micah Smith

Bicycle by Eleanor Grosch

All the Colors of the Dark by Doublenaut

http://www.postercabaret.com
http://www.postercabaret.com
http://www.postercabaret.com

So Many Books, So Little Time

2010-01-09T11:02:00.000-08:00

As a child, I read a lot. I mean, a LOT. There were a couple of summers where I completed my local library's summer reading program TWICE... not just because I wanted the crappy prizes, but because I really just enjoyed the act of reading. Strangely, though, at a certain point, I just stopped. I can't really explain it, but fiction just became unbearable. My ability to immerse myself in the plot, absorb the characters' personalities and motivations just faded away. Pretty suddenly as I remember it, actually.

Biographies, historical and scientific accounts still capture my attention from time to time, but nothing beats the thrill that I get when reading about artistic people and their endeavors. It goes beyond simply admiring the pages and pages of eye candy. While I often find immediate inspiration in their images, I find it more fascinating to arrive at a better understanding of how personal or historical circumstances shaped artistic outlooks, movements and processes. Luckily for me, the birthday and Christmas season just dumped a TON of these sorts of books in my lap. Here's what I'll be thumbing through and eating up in the coming weeks and months.

Fan Dub? What's a Fan Dub?

2010-01-08T00:30:00.000-08:00

Recently, my girlfriend and I have been arguing about whether or not to get a dog. She wants one, and I don't. But that doesn't stop us from discussing possible dog names. If we do get a dog, and it's a boy, we'll name him Garbageman. No dispute. Tonight, my girlfriend brought the dog subject up again, and suggested Ursula as a name for a female dog. The name is inspired by the sea witch from The Little Mermaid, which got me thinking. "What about Prince Eric?", I suggested. She told me that the name seemed a little bit "gay". Well, so what if my dog is gay, this is fucking San Francisco.

From there, I decided to Google "Prince Eric" and here's what I found.

1. Artist renderings of Prince Eric as a hunky underwear model.

2. A Youtube "Fan Dub" featuring scenes from the Little Mermaid. I had no idea what a "fan dub" was, but quickly ascertained that it is a video in which a fan records themselves mimicking and reciting the dialogue from a movie, and over-dubbing the new audio it into the original scene. This type of activity must be the monomaniacal work of an asexual, linguistically gifted, autistic adult. Obsession and other associated disorders can be amazing things when focused properly.

Blacklisted in California

2010-01-07T17:26:00.001-08:00

Requisite Reflective First Post of the Year

2010-01-06T12:00:00.001-08:00

Every year comes to an end, and every blogger must provide their readership (no matter how miniscule) with a generalized sampling of the events that transpired over the past 12 months of their lives. OK, so here's mine.

January
The world lost a good man: R.I.P., Matt Mahoney.
Skin Like Iron's s/t 10" on 3 Maximum Rocknroll columnists' Top 10 of 2009 lists.
Humanity Is The Devil, San Francisco Graffiti Zine - Issue VII published.

February
Accepted to CCA's Graphic Design program.
Skin Like Iron releases "All Human Failings" 12" on Free Cake Records.

March
Skin Like Iron, Ceremony, Mind - weekend tour of California, Oregon & Washington.

April
Skin Like Iron, Pulling Teeth, Lewd Acts, 108 - 10 day West Coast tour.
First time (ever) traveling out of the country. Vancouver is beautiful.
Virgin Witch writes and records two songs.
Stopped eating meat.

May
50th Annual Corralitos Lumberjack Breakfast.
Saw a 12 year old Rod Blagojevich look alike.

June
My little sister graduates from UCSC. Who finishes college in ONLY 4 years?
All of my grandparents visit.
Endless summer begins - scraping by on savings and freelance. No REAL job.

July
Humanity Is The Devil, San Francisco Graffiti Zine - Issue VI & VIII published.
Skin Like Iron plays Sound & Fury Festival.
Mini-vacation in Santa Barbara.

August
Skin Like Iron plays Maximum Rocknroll's "San Francisco is Doomed" Fest.
Endless summer ends. First time with no job or school in 12 years.

September
First semester of CCA begins.
Roommate of over a year moves out.

October
Skin Like Iron, Streetwalkers southern California tour.
Subletter moves in.
First taste of Sightglass coffee. This is a huge development in my life.
Trip to Halfmoon Bay Pumpkin Patch w/ Mike & Katie.

November
Kristin moves back in.

December
Finished first semester at CCA with 3.25 GPA.
Survived another year, turned 28.
Humanity Is The Devil, San Francisco Graffiti Zine - Issue X published
"All Human Failings" included on two Maximum Rocknroll columnists' Top 10 of the Decade lists.

2009-10-01T13:28:00.000-07:00

My new roommate moves in today. We have the same name, but he spells it differently. He seems like a nice guy - pity he's only subletting for a month. I think this is the fifth or sixth roommate I've had in a little less than five years. It doesn't seem like that many people have passed through my home, but I guess that's the case. My girlfriend of four years moves back in with me in November. We've spent the past year and a half living under different roofs, so we're both looking forward to making a better go of it this time around.

Humanity Is The Devil - Issues IX through XI

2009-09-23T22:13:00.000-07:00

In October, I will be releasing the 9th, 10th, and 11th issues of my zine. Here's a page preview from issue 10. In the next few weeks, I'll be posting page previews from the accompanying issues.

September

2009-09-23T21:35:00.001-07:00

It's hard to believe that the first month of school wraps up tomorrow. With a lot of things keeping me busy, I've barely had time to slow down and post anything. I'm not going to make a habit of posting about school, but perhaps some people may be interested to see some of the things I've been working on - here are photos of my first project for my 3D studies course.

The assignment called for us to create 5 "hypothetical" tools. These objects didn't need to have any true purpose or function, but, mine made pretty heavy reference to common tool forms that we've grown used to seeing in day to day life. Using a combination of found scrap objects as well as hand carved/tooled wood handles, I did my best to construct objects that seemed antique in nature. Some of the objects already had been worn by time, which I used to my advantage, but others were polished or otherwise new looking, which required some reworking in order to keep the look cohesive.

As a person that's grown accustomed to creating my pieces on a computer, it was nice to truly put my hands to work. While it's perfectly legitimate to design on a computer, I can't help but feel like a fraud sometimes. Perhaps not so much a fraud per se, but, I feel like there's a certain distinction to be drawn between artists and designers. Artists can always boast a certain sort of soulfulness to their work, and designers tread a path that's more calculated and technical, and really only the best can demonstrate a definite artfulness, or soul in the work they produce.

Despite being very artistically driven, I've found it hard to call myself an artist, since I've never been all that happy with my drawings or paintings - instead, I've tended to find my calling in computer based design work. It's easier to reconcile myself as a designer. The problem with being a designer is that it's hard to feel unique at times. There are accepted conventions, and rules that exist for good reason, and sometimes it's hard to find a way to approach a design that not only works, but that also doesn't feel stale or uninspired. Another issue I have difficulty with is the nature of design - that is to say - design makes use of other people's illustrations/photos/paintings and helps to integrate them with text on a page, or a 3D package etc. While there's skill required to achieve "good design" it can feel like more of a job of organization than one of true creativity. I think there's comparisons that can be made to photography. I've often heard people belittle the art of photography as little more than a technical skill, as opposed to an artistic skill. I disagree with that notion completely, and I suppose in that, I must also allow myself more credit as an aspiring designer.

Back To School

2009-08-25T17:56:00.000-07:00

In Spring 2008, I had a chance hallway meeting with a former instructor, who began a dialogue about me about my educational and career aspirations. After some heartfelt words of encouragement, she convinced me that I belonged at CCA - a competitive and very reputable school here in San Francisco/Oakland. This discussion was extremely motivational to me, and caused me to rethink my whole "just get it over with" approach to school, and inspired me to strive for what I really wanted in life. While it took some academic backtracking, and adjustments, the dedication was ultimately worth it.

I arrived at my orientation this morning a little before 8:00. I parked my bike inside the school corridors at their secure indoor bike racks, and waited for the program to get underway. While queued up near the registration table, I was flagged down by a former SF City College classmate, and we spent the time catching up. It's always nice to be that one obnoxious jerk who finds the comfort of being reunited with old friends, even in the midst of a nerve wracking, stressful new experience. Usually I'm the awkward one that keeps to himself and hopes that nobody will notice them.

As soon as the day began, the momentum never let up. My group was led by two very helpful and friendly student advisors who led us through the various presentations and meetings. The orientation was packed to the gills with information, and tasks to attend to. Despite the excitement, I did encounter some frustrations along the way – namely administrative screw-up that made my academic advising/planning session very difficult. However, no cloud is without its silver lining. Due to this complication, I was forced to adamantly seek out answers to my concerns. Of the three departmental advisors, I sought out the only one that I hadn't yet spoken to that day.

My inquiries were met with genuine interest, and thoughtful answers that didn't simply rely on dispensing a confusing assortment of facts, loosely assembled to pass as an "answer". For 15 minutes, I had the complete attention of a concerned teacher and administrator, who was happy to discuss not only the most pressing issues, but also my plans for my years ahead at CCA. As our impromptu meeting drew to a close, I was suddenly hit with the realization that I knew this instructor! As we parted, I threw out a final question -

"Hey... shot in the dark... did you ever work for ICPlanet.com?"
"Yesssss...? I did...?"
"Me too! That was my first job out of high school."

From there we both reconnected in a shocked, rambling recollection of our days as co-workers nine years ago. Maybe he was just being polite, but he claimed to remember me. I'm inclined to believe him - we did share a giant wrap-around desk after all. The conversation ended, and we both headed our separate ways to our next obligations. About an hour later, we met up again, and he helped me with some last minute registration issues, which ultimately yielded me a rather good schedule.

After registration, we had a campus tour and campus technology orientation. Before the day drew to a final close, we had to sit for ID pictures. The security staff running the operation was hilarious, and kept us pretty entertained as we waited our turn. My ID photo turned out great... I look like even more of a serial killer than I do in my passport photo. I'm on a winning streak!

An Open Letter To Straights

2009-08-24T15:15:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, I came across this letter, which was published to the Seattle area Craigslist site. I recently read it again, and it still rings so true. In fact, it resonates even more strongly now, in a post Proposition 8 era. It's appalling to think that legislation like that could not only avoid being shot down in ridicule, yet also manage to be endorsed by a strong enough segment of the population to make it law.

Good people voted in favor of Proposition 8 (confused? Remember, that a "yes" vote signified one's opposition to gay marriage). Sure, a lot of bigots supported it, but I think that a lot of people who were mostly ignorant, ill-informed and fearful (rather than hateful), are the ones responsible for passing Prop 8. If those people could see this letter, I think they might understand the human side of homosexuality, and more importantly, understand how backwards the notion of gay people attempting to subvert "straight culture" is.

Love between two consenting adults isn't a crime, and should not be legislated against, nor should it require special legislation to legitimize it in the first place.

Here's the letter -
............................................

An open letter to Straights

Apparently all this time I've been shoving my sexuality in your face and forcing it on you. I misunderstood. I didn't know. I am so sorry.

I mistakenly thought it was you who were shoving your lifestyle in my face when you called me faggot before I even knew what that word meant.

I thought you were forcing your sexuality on me when you and your friends cornered me in the locker room after gym class in junior high school, called me a goddamn homo and beat the shit out of me.

I thought the coach was forcing his lifestyle on me when he shouted down at my broken and bleeding body in the locker room that I asked for it because I was looking at the other guys 'funny'.

I thought you were shoving your sexuality in my face when you spray painted my name and "is a fag" on the side of the High school building.

When you and your friends trashed my car and then afterwards ran me off the road as I was walking home from school, laughing and calling me a "Queer" I thought I was just walking home from school and not forcing my sexuality down your throat.

I was mistaken and apparently trying to force my deviant lifestyle on you in college that day when thought I might be just trying to find someone like me to talk to when you and your cop friends entrapped me, arrested me and beat me up and threw me in jail because I looked at you the wrong way and smiled at you.

Apparently I asked for it when you and your friends chased me down the street, pulled me into an alley and broke my nose with a booze bottle after I had the gall to come out a known gay bar one night in college.

When I was in the military, I thought one of my friends might be just trying to live a decent, honorable life with his partner of 10 years when you and your military police friends pulled him into an interrogation room and accused him of sodomy because he was living with a guy and not dating women. When you kicked him out of the service and dumped him 3500 miles from his home with no money and no job, I didn't realize that he was forcing his lifestyle on you. I'm sure he's sorry too.

I didn't realize that you were offended by us when my best friend asked to be admitted to his partner's hospital room while he was dying. You see, he'd lived with him for 20 years and they had shared their life together but had the misfortune of living in a state where people like him had no "legal status" and so his sweet love of 20 years died alone surrounded by people who thought that God had given him AIDS as punishment for the sin of homosexuality. He didn't understand that your religious sensibilities were more important than his misguided need to be with his partner when he died.

All this time I thought you were forcing your sexuality on me, but now I know that I was forcing mine on you. I am so sorry that all my life, I've mistakenly thought that being left alone to live my life, to work and to have a home and family and to be allowed to love who I choose was just living my life - like you live yours.

Little did I know that all that time I was cramming my disgusting sexuality and lifestyle down your throat, forcing you to accept me and demanding "Special Rights".

Now that I'm older and wiser, you'll excuse the silly idealism of a dotty middle aged guy who had a vain hope that maybe I could marry the guy I've been living with for fifteen years and not have to worry if my religiously devout family will decide to ransack my home after my death because my family - the family who have largely cared less if I lived or died - have more legal rights than my partner, no matter what I say in my will.

You'll excuse my mistaken notion that I should be allowed to have a good job and not be fired at will because my boss might find out that I live with a guy and am still "single". You'll pardon my liberal sensibilities when I think I should be able to rent an apartment from someone who might decide that two guys living together is "an abomination", or be able to open a joint checking account with my partner, because now I know that it isn't "normal" for two guys to set up a home together.

Hopefully, you'll excuse my mistaken notion that my life and my love and my family are at least as important and significant as yours - yes, even when you beat the shit out of your wife the day after she caught you fucking the underaged babysitter, even when you tossed your 15 year old gay son out on the streets, even when I gladly pay very high taxes to send your kids to good schools and you cheat on yours.

I hope you will understand when I was momentarily struck speechless when you raised up your bible and told me that God thinks that I am an abomination and will go to hell. You'll excuse me for my silly notion that God maybe has other more pressing matters than to care that much if I decide that I want to live with someone I love instead of being alone and celibate. You'll pardon my weakness when I want a family and have to do it by shoving my homosexual lifestyle in your face.

Finally, please excuse the silly sentimentality of an old man who after nearly six decades of life sees a movie with two "normal" guys who are cowboys who fall in love together. It's been a long time since I've seen any people like me in the movies who aren't silly and shallow or tragic and dying of something or another. It's been years since I've seen someone like me love someone like my partner and not die because of it or end up some tragic stupid queen. So the movie made me happy and so I was momentarily blinded by the hope that it might be recognized as a watershed moment in tolerance. I now know it was a shameful use of one of your dearest symbols of American manliness to once again shove my disgusting lifestyle down your throat.

You'll excuse me please.

All this time, all my life - I just thought you were trying to make me be something that I can never be. I just thought you were forcing me to conform to your idea of normality. I mistakenly thought you hated me.

I was mistaken. Obviously, all this time I was forcing my lifestyle on you. Please accept my apologies.

Humanity Is The Devil

2009-08-21T15:01:00.000-07:00

Every few months I produce a few zines all at once. I used to stick to one issue at a time, and would release one every four to six months. Recently, I've found that working on multiple issues at once gives me an opportunity to better focus each issue, rather than trying to fit all my ideas into one single issue. I'm nearly finished with issues 9 and 10, and I will begin working on issue 11 as soon as I can get together with my collaborator, Kim.

COMING UP:
Issue 9 - 10,000 Days On Earth, The Ravings of Artie Cline - (A compilation of poetry)
Issue 10 - San Francisco Graffiti - TAGS
Issue 11 - The Photography of Kimberly Yount

Always wear your helmet

2009-08-17T13:23:00.000-07:00

Well, it's not especially sage advice, but it should never be discounted. About an hour ago, I loaded up my bag with about 10 packages to send off to the winners of my recent eBay auctions. I grabbed my bike, and got ready to hit the door. Before I left the house, I did the usual "should I wear my helmet? I'm only going a mile through the neighborhood" routine, and settled on wearing my helmet. Within 5 blocks, I came within 10 feet of being hit by a blatant red light runner. I caught up with her, and asked her what her deal was. All she did was throw up her hands in a weak peace offering, and seemed somewhat annoyed that I was calling her on this.

I reminded her that it could have been her and to pay attention when she's driving. I'm sure that I might as well have been talking to a wall.

Luckily there was no collision, but I'm glad I had my stupid looking helmet strapped on.

Zines

2009-08-16T00:39:00.000-07:00

Tonight I popped into Needles & Pens for a photo exhibit featuring the photographs of Chrissy Piper. The photos on display also appear in issue #3 of her on-going series, Three Records. The photos were great, and these zines provide some really great insight into the records which inspire fellow punks. The personal stories and anecdotes are fantastic.

I got a call from a friend today, and I didn't get around to listening to his voicemail until just now. We've been working on updating our online zine store, and he just wanted to set up a time that we could get some work done. He also let me know that the first issue of my graffiti zine (Humanity Is The Devil) has been included in Bloodwars Magazine, Issue #28. Bloodwars is a long running, Bay Area based graffiti zine that has recently begun reprinting zines that they deem "classic". I'm glad for the recognition. Thank you, Bloodwars!

On a final note about zines – On Thursday night, I spoke with Layla at MRR, and I'm going to start helping out with layouts. I love reading Maximum Rocknroll every month, and getting the chance to help produce this great magazine is pretty exciting!

San Francisco's Doomed Fest!

2009-08-12T13:05:00.000-07:00

So what is this all about? Well, basically, the folks at Maximum Rocknroll organized nearly 10 shows all across the city of San Francisco for the purpose of funding a new all ages venue in the city. The fest begins tonight with the MRR Shitworkers showcase at the Balazo/Submission Gallery, and goes through Sunday the 16th.

Every show features a really great variety of bands, mainly from or around, San Francisco. If you're into punk or hardcore, you're going to find at least one show that you'll really enjoy, so come on out!

Tomorrow night, my band will be playing at the Knockout with some really great bands. The show starts at 9:00, and there's not exactly a rigid order, so any band could play at any time. Every band is killer, so get there on time!

COMPLETE SCHEDULE POSTED HERE
San Francisco's Doomed
Dirty Cupcakes
Airfix Kits
Young Offenders
Never Healed
Skin Like Iron

Record Pickups

2009-08-06T12:33:00.000-07:00

I've been pretty broke this summer, so I've missed just about every single show other than the ones my own band has played. We've played with some great bands, but I know I've been missing out on a lot. I recently came up with a few bucks, and decided to sink nearly every penny back into punk/hardcore records. I decided to concentrate on finding records by bands that I'd recently missed on their way through San Francisco.

Cult Ritual - Guiltless 7"
Packaged with a fantastic silk-screened cover, and a 6 page lyric zine. The music is insane right out of the gate. A couple of lyrical samples from the first track -

"Mass death by human hands" and the closing verse, "We're all animals!"

The lyrics are as dark and violent as the music itself. I can't recommend this record enough.

Brain Killer - Demo 7" & S/T 7"
This shit is pretty chaotic. Lots of really harsh feedback squealing at all times and heavy rhythms pounding your eardrums in. A very successful combination of d-beat and noisepunk.

Dear Landlord - split w/ Off With Their Heads
Great pop-punk. DL was recommended to me by a friend of mine, and they're just one in a long line of great bands that he's gotten me hip to. I recently met this guy in April when our bands went on tour, and I think I asked him about a dozen times "who's this?" whenever he was in control of the van's stereo. Dear Landlord is definitely one of my favorites that I took away from my incessant questioning.

Heavy on the melodies, and very reminiscent of earlier Dillinger 4 songs. The b-side features OWTH, which is good, but I'm not hooked yet. Better than most stuff, and all my friends are into it, but I'm still yet to be convinced.

----------------

Last weekend I played Sound & Fury festival in Oxnard, CA. This gave me an opportunity to see a lot of newer bands and pick up a few records. This year's roster was pretty diverse, and I think my purchases reflect the variety of bands at the fest. I missed out on a few key records that I was looking for, but hopefully I'll track them down soon enough!

----------------

Trapped Under Ice - Secrets of the World & Stay Cold
TUI is a band from Baltimore that really nails the whole East Coast street style sound. Their music channels the best elements of Madball and Biohazard, and features some pretty good lyrics - certainly more introspective than most tough-guy bands.

"There's a kid, just like me, he's gonna get a gun, because the truth is harsh"

It's a simple statement – not about glorifying a "my hood is tougher than your hood" kinda deal, but more so an acknowledgement of social circumstances that incubate criminality and violence. Poverty and a raw deal just lands in the laps of a lot of people. What's the difference between them and somebody that grew up with comfort and advantages? Less options for survival and harder choices.

Knife Fight - Crisis
I hadn't seen Knife Fight in years, but their performance at S&F reminded me of why so many people love this band. If you're not familiar with them, they play pretty straight forward hardcore that sounds like a collision of Agnostic Front and Discharge. Lyrics about being disgusted with shallowness and apathy. Great stuff, plus, you can't beat a $5 LP!

Iron Lung / Hatred Surge - Collaborative 7"
Some of the best material from either band, and a cool concept. Personally, I'm not aware of many bands that have sat down and presented a unified concept between two bands as opposed to simply splitting each band's output into separate sides on a split. I guess it's easier when your two bands are comprised of three people total, but whatever. This shit is cool. Fast and grinding songs give way to sludgy, industrial rhythms. A very brutal combination!

Hatred Surge's set was one of the best at Sound & Fury, and it was cool to see them get a decent reaction, considering that they're not the sort of band typically associated with a fest like Sound & Fury. In a live setting, Hatred Surge's braintrust, Alex Hughes, plays bass and sings, and has a really intense stage presence for somebody who's largely trapped behind a microphone for most of their songs.

I haven't seen Iron Lung yet, but I've heard that they're great. If you're into crusty, grindy, power-violence, or if you're familiar with one band, but not the other, then these are two bands to check out.

Trash Talk - East of Eden
This band has come a long way since they first started out as a scrappy little outfit from Sacramento! A lot of people hate them, and talk shit on them or whatever, but I'll stick by them. I remember a time when literally nobody gave a fuck about them. No one would show up to their shows, and frankly, their music was garbage! Fast forward a few years, and they're unbelievably popular.

Dedication to doing their thing is commendable, and thankfully their music has improved a lot. I'd categorize it as power-violence with a little bit more polish on it. Really great lyrics, and a sick guest vocal appearance by none other than KEITH MORRIS.

I missed the first press, so I made sure to pick up a copy from the second press. It was just released and is probably sold out already.

Naysayer - No Remorse
A lot of bands have attempted to retread the whole Madball sound, and completely miss the mark. Naysayer's No Remorse has an undeniable Set It Off/Demonstrating My Style vibe to it. The vocals take a little to get used to, they're kinda sneered and hissed. It didn't hit me right away, but I'm feeling it now.

Live, these guys go hard. I saw them at the Balazo Gallery in SF earlier this year, and they brought it. Another big plus to this band is that they know how to keep it short and sweet. This genre often suffers from overly-long songs that go nowhere at the hands of incompetent song-writers. Not the case here - I was surprised to find 6 songs on one 7"!

Pop-Punk

2009-08-06T11:34:00.000-07:00

I'm not a huge pop-punk fan, but it will always hold a soft spot in my heart thanks to a mixtape that was given to me by a friend's older brother. The year was 1996, I was a confused high-school freshman, sporting both Operation Ivy and Korn patches on my backpack. I saw an older kid around school wearing an Elvis Costello shirt. I knew of Elvis Costello – he was that guy that my parents both listened to. I knew that EC was considered punk, but it didn't quite add up to me. I mean, where was the desperate, throat shredding vocals and heavily distorted guitars that marked all the punk that I knew about? Even still, I could tell that this anonymous dude in the Elvis shirt knew something that I didn't.

At some point before the end of that year, I became friends with a girl in my P.E. class, and eventually met her brother. It turns out that he was the guy I'd seen around campus in the Elvis Costello shirt. He must have seen me as a kid teetering on the edge of being just another suburban dork who'd either dig a few inches into the underground, or possibly a kid with the smarts to get into some really good music. He made a great mix for me, and I listened to it constantly for years. I didn't really have much money as a teenager, and without a car, or a good record store in town, this tape was my only link to the stuff that I could find at The Wherehouse (the now defunct, major music retailer).

To this day, I still listen to a lot of the bands that appeared on this tape, and they set the standard for my interest in pop-punk. The bands on my tape were genuine, and reflected the true spirit of punk. Perhaps not all of the bands had "serious" lyrics. Most certainly didn't spit their rage at sociopolitical ills, but what they did do was capture the sound and feeling of being an outsider. These were the bands that wondered if maybe it wasn't the world that was fucked up, but perhaps it was them personally. The songs weren't just about not being able to get girls, the songs were about disconnection.

When I listen to a band like Weston, Jawbreaker, Knapsack, or Dillinger 4, I can relate. When I hear a band like Fight Fair, it comes off as frat boys posing as sensitive losers. The bands of yore sung songs about having nobody to talk to, nobody to love. Today's bands seem to be aimed at connecting with the Prom King and Queen. Go to Fight Fair's MySpace page, scroll down to the section that has their music lawyer's contact info, and I think you'll get the gist. It's about selling an image, and finding the most effective vehicle to do so. 15 years ago it was edgier bands like Rancid, and today it's bands with vaguely pop-punk stylings. The cycle goes on and on.

IN OUR MINDS AND IN OUR HEARTS, WE FEEL THAT POP-PUNK MUSIC SHOULD STAY OUT OF BIG BUSINESS AND STAY IN THE LONELY BEDROOMS WHERE IT BELONGS. ALL YOU KIDS OUT THERE, ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH!

OK, that last part was a joke. Hopefully you enjoyed reading this entry, and hopefully you agree with me. Now enjoy this Weston video from 1995.

Humanity Is The Devil - Issues V through VIII

2009-07-24T14:36:00.001-07:00

Yet another issue of Humanity Is The Devil is complete. In the past two years, I've produced eight issues, mainly focusing on graffiti in the streets of San Francisco. In addition to the graffiti content, I've also collaborated with two other photographers in order to bring you their vision of life in San Francisco.

Single issue and package pricing is posted at:
http://www.blacksummer.com
http://www.blacksummer.com
http://www.blacksummer.com

ISSUE VIII: SAN FRANCISCO GRAFFITI
The biggest zine I've ever published. 64 pages featuring photos from the Spring of 2009.

INFO:
July 2009
64 pages
5 " x 7"

ISSUE VII: SAN FRANCISCO GRAFFITI
A pocket sized zine photographed in the Fall of 2008 in San Francisco.

INFO:
January 2009
50 pages
4" x 5"

ISSUE VI: SAMMY WINSTON'S (S)CRAPBOOK
A pretty little pictographic walk down memory lane with King Spiderghost as your guide. This is HITD Zine's second ever collaboration, and its first ever color publication.

While this book is largely personal, if you're looking for pictures of 90's era SF graffiti, there's some gems in here. Also for fans of little kids with guns in their mouths.

INFO:
JULY 2009
48 pages
Full bleed
8" x 6"

ISSUE V: SAN FRANCISCO GRAFFITI
A top-fold zine photographed in the Fall of 2008 in San Francisco.

The first issue produced with full bleed art. White margins are ugly, and are now a thing of HITD Zine's past.

INFO:
December 2008
40 pages
Full bleed
8" x 5"

ISSUE IV: SAN FRANCISCO GRAFFITI
A standard, half-sheet sized zine photographed in the Summer of 2008 in San Francisco.

INFO:
Summer 2008
42 pages
5.5" x 8.5"

ISSUE III: CONDITION SAN FRANCISCO
HITD Zine's first collaboration. Featuring more than 50 documentary photographs by Chris Willmore. Frisco is a grimey place and this proves it.

INFO:
Summer 2008
32 pages
5.5" x 8.5"

ISSUE II - SAN FRANCISCO GRAFFITI
More graffiti from the streets of San Francisco. Photographed in the Summer of 2007.

INFO:
January 2008
32 pages
5.5" x 8.5"

ISSUE I - SAN FRANCISCO GRAFFITI
The first issue. Frankly, this one isn't shit compared to the following issues. I've got a bunch of copies left over so I've dropped the price to $1 + s/h.

INFO:
March 2007
32 pages
5.5" x 8.5"

Humanity Is The Devil - Issues I through IV

2009-07-24T14:33:00.001-07:00

2009-05-02T16:19:00.001-07:00

I've been on a super creative streak this week. Got home from tour. Recorded two tracks at Atomic Garden yesterday with Dom and Blaine. Today, I played around on Garage Band and demoed a new song for a projects I've been meaning to start for a long time. I've got a bunch of new zines - mostly complete, just gotta get them stapled and dropped off at the usual places.

Hopefully the impending job search doesn't hamper this streak too badly.

2009-02-01T12:57:00.000-08:00

I do not care if Fucked Up is too popular for the cool kids to like anymore... this interview is incredible.

Goodbye, Matt Mahoney

2009-01-10T15:18:00.000-08:00

Today, I attended the memorial services for a friend of mine. I arrived at the chapel early, but not early enough to get a seat inside. I would estimate that 200-300 people showed up to say goodbye to Matt. As a casual friend, I know that I haven't been hurting as badly as the friends and family that he held so close have been, but nonetheless, I felt a great feeling of relief and happiness to see how well attended his service was.

Having only been to one other memorial in my life, I consider myself very fortunate to not have had a very clear understanding of the nature of such a gathering. Things became clear today when I had a revelation – a memorial isn't meant to be a grim and morose occasion where one stews in miserable feelings of loss. Instead, it really is meant to bring comfort and closure through a demonstration of just how much love and respect surrounded the dearly departed in life, and especially in death.

Rest In Peace, Matthew Joel Mahoney. You were a really great kid, and I wish we could have shared more time together.

Oscar Grant murdered by BART police

2009-01-07T11:44:00.000-08:00

All too often, it's easy enough to wiggle out of having an opinion on anything. When the matter is controversial it's even easier to resign yourself to simply not have any opinion at all. We've become used to the idea that there are two sides to every story, and that the truth always gets buried and obscured under a ton of political rubble.

This is not the case in this matter. Less than a week ago, a young man was murdered by police at the Fruitvale BART track. I still fall for the bullshit "cops have a tough job" type of excuse from time to time, especially when allegations of "murder" are thrown about regarding a police involved death; but the following video is horrifying, and will thoroughly allay any doubts of this story's veracity.

"...graphic video taken by a passenger was released by the Bay Area television station KTVU. It shows an unarmed and unresisting Grant, lying face down, shot at point-blank range by an officer as his horrified friends and onlookers watch."

Please read a more detailed account of this police murder from this website.

A Little Bit of Recent SF History

2009-01-05T06:00:00.000-08:00

I came across this article written by, G. William Domhoff. It's pretty interesting so far, but I haven't done much more than scan through it, and zero in on a few sections here and there.

sociology.ucsc.edu/whorulesamerica/power/san_francisco.html

Death at a young age...

2009-01-02T17:53:00.000-08:00

I got a phone call today and found out that a friend of mine had died. He was strong and managed to battle his illness throughout all of his young life, but I guess that wretched disease finally beat my friend into the ground.

I wish he had more of a chance to do all of the things that I simply take for granted, but I hope he's found a better place now.

Happy Holidays from Taiwan

2008-12-19T16:54:00.000-08:00

This e-postcard was found on the very informative SF Fixed message board. It's nice to see the smiling, proud faces of the folks that built my bike frame and fork. There's a lot to be said for boutique frames, and I certainly have no qualms with bespoke goods for those that can afford it, but for the rest of us, there's brands like IRO, which outsource their production to Maxway in Taiwan.

Now here's a picture of me on said bike trying way too hard to look serious. Absolutely ridiculous.

1996

2008-12-18T12:45:00.001-08:00

Madball DMS

Birthdays

2008-12-17T12:12:00.001-08:00

Why do birthdays have to be so depressing?

Yesterday, I woke up next to my amazing girlfriend, K, and went to breakfast with her and a mutual friend. We ate at Louis' on the edge of the Pacific Ocean. This tiny diner has the same views as the venerable and historic (read: out of my league) Cliff House, but with prices and foods that accommodate my wallet and simple palate.

Breakfast was nice. I enjoyed the conversation, and studied the seemingly infinite horizon as it stretched for miles past my vantage point at the edge of the Earth.

Afterwards, K and A headed out for work, and I faced the responsibility of studying for my impending finals. I made a feeble effort, but found that I just couldn't hang. In order to dodge the particular responsibility of studying without feeling too guilty, I set about to cleaning my room. Cleaning my room is at least productive, and thus a justifiable substitute for forgoing my studies.

The day passed slowly. When evening came about, I picked up K from work and went to her house until it was time to meet my family at my favorite restaurant. I opened a couple of gifts to pass the time; A hooked me up with a Lillingtons album. This band is great. I've listened to it nearly 10 times already. K presented me with the gift that she'd been struggling to keep a secret for the past couple of weeks. K hates waiting for surprises. It's cute.

Prior to the actual presentation of the gift, she'd let on that it was something special, something that I'd never ask for. She was right. K purchased a painting for me that I'd had my heart set on ever since seeing it hanging in its show. K told me that when I returned to admire the painting for a second time, it was easy to read the disappointment in my expression when I saw that the painting had already marked as sold. Little did I know who it was sold to.After opening my wonderful gifts, we converged upon Gaspare's on Geary and 20th. Gaspare's has hosted roughly 20 of my 27 birthday dinners, and has been a reliable setting for countless other celebratory meals. With my family around me, I enjoyed a fantastic meal at my favorite restaurant. We left Gaspare's and headed back to my apartment for coffee and cake. My mom made my favorite cake. It's the same cake that she made for my dad when they were young, and living 15 blocks down the street from my apartment.

While my family talked with K, I took a phone call from my out of state grandparents, and a cousin and aunt. It was nice talking to them, and it always strikes me as strange that they live so far away now. We used to live within an hour of each other.

After a while, my parents left, and I took K back to her apartment.

So, going back to what I said at the beginning... why are birthdays so depressing? With all the wonderful people I'm surrounded by, how is it that I end up wasting away into the early morning hours feeling so empty and alone? I don't think I've ever been honest enough to admit to the completely consumptive feeling of loneliness that has metastasized within me.

I've been given everything, and yet I still struggle. I think a lot of people do.

Dave Grohl on Drums

2008-12-15T12:00:00.001-08:00

I haven't listened to the Foo Fighters since their first album came up, so I'd kinda forgotten what a great musician Dave Grohl is. His contributions to Nirvana get an A+, no doubt, but a lot of the songs he's written for FF just don't cut it for me. All the same, the dude's got raw talent that I'm not even trying to deny.

Playing on a child's drum kit somewhere in Europe

With Earl Hudson (Bad Brains)

Headline News

2008-12-15T01:44:00.000-08:00

This headline rubbed me the wrong way...

I can understand phrasing it something like "marked by dissent..." or "met with dissent...", but to place such a strictly negative connotation in the headline assumes a lot more than the media should be assuming.

2008-12-14T23:32:00.001-08:00

The past few days have been pretty good. Here's what I listened to this week.

Dominic Mallary

2008-12-11T00:40:00.000-08:00

A few days ago, a young man from Massachusetts died of a brain aneurysm shortly after performing with his band, Last Lights. We didn't know each other at all, but considering how small the hardcore world is, I'm sure that our paths would have crossed at some point sooner or later. Our lack of familiarity shelters me from feeling the same sadness and loss that those close to him are surely struggling with, but I am saddened by his death all the same.

"War drums don't move my feet. The human race can run without me..."

Dominic Mallary had an incredible amount of talent, and I'm sad that I discovered it only in the wake of his untimely passing. According to his band mates he was responsible for nearly all of their material, both musically as well as lyrically. Check out his music.

Last Lights - Strong American Nightmare type of vibe
Haunted Like A House - His quieter/experimental side

Economic Grousings

2008-12-10T12:37:00.000-08:00

My roommate just had her hours cut at work and her co-workers are getting laid off one by one every day. She warned me that it's a possibility that she'd have to move out soon. My girlfriend has seen a significant decline in business as a hairstylist lately. She's considering picking up more hours at a side job, in addition to the six days a week she already works. Friends of mine have a house in foreclosure. Another friend is a student, and nearly didn't get state grant money that was promised to her and is necessary to supplement her income.

I've been listening to NPR this morning, and Talk of the Nation focused exclusively on callers' stories of being laid off in the recent weeks. It was so depressing. I've always taken work for granted, and always earned my own way as much as I could.

I got my first job at 12 (technically 11) and worked 30-40 hours a week from the time I was 17 until I was 25 when I finally decided to go back to school. I'm turning 27 next week and I'm subsisting off of grants, loans, off and on part-time employment and freelance graphic design work. When I started school, I had visions of obtaining a degree, and jumping right into the workforce and getting paid to do what I love.

I don't believe in that vision any more. For the time being, I'm considering myself lucky to have what I have, and trying to prepare myself for the inevitable disappearance of my comfortable life.

The American economy will rise and fall, but it's disgusting to consider how it could have been different. Would we really be in this deep recession if so much money hadn't been thrown in the wrong direction over the past eight years? It's classic Orwellian double-speak; while our president tells us that we want to pursue peace, yet, we're funneling all of our money into wars. We're also told that our country is built on small businesses, entrepreneurship and common people, and yet we cut taxes for the wealthy, underfund education (a means by which to ascend the economic ranks), deregulate everything, place our faith in the competence of businessmen, allow big business to run free and THEN leave us with no choice but to bail them out financially.

Here's a bit of an antidote for all my gloom...

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... by Jack Black

Wait a minute, that's some antidote... this sketch shouldn't have even had to be made in the first place. How about we deregulate the institution of marriage?

Academic Overload & Procrastination

2008-12-09T15:49:00.001-08:00

I suspect that there are currently thousands of blogs online with recent posts complaining about the stresses of school as the semester comes to a close. I'm tempted to write one myself, but the truth is I didn't do shit all semester, so I'm pretty much getting what I deserve. It's not even so bad, really. I've finished a paper, studied for a few tests, and still have to complete a few art projects and write one last paper.

On the topic of procrastination and shirking responsibilities...

I'm behind on mail-order for the first time in a year. I used to be horrible about getting things out, so I decided to make a change. In order to keep on top of things, I simply made a routine of going to the postoffice on Tuesdays. After sending out a couple hundred zines this year, I've been laying low. I have nothing new to produce and distribute, so there's no real momentum. On average, I'm now handling only one or two orders every month. I really don't understand why it's so hard for me to just get out to the post office and send a few orders out. Even worse, I'm behind on shipping out trades. My trading partners already hooked me up, and I've just been sitting on my end of the bargain.

OK, I'm off to the post office... this is ridiculous.

Recording Revisited

2008-12-08T02:13:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how much can be accomplished in 20 hours if you simply forgo eating and going outside. The end result of this weekend's efforts actually surprised me and exceeded my expectations. The record sounds way bigger than what we should have been able to afford on our budget... some of that might have to do with the massive amount of guitar tracks we laid down.

In order to get the fullest sound possible, Paul and I each AB'd two amps. I ran my Yamaha T100 with a Mesa Mark IV, and Paul used his Peavey Butcher and Sunn Model T reissue. Four amps getting tracked in stereo pairs results in eight channels of guitar every time the engineer hit "record". On top of that, we double and triple tracked all leads. I'm thankful that we've found an engineer that is enthusiastic enough to sift through all that and mix it properly. Chaos and excess at its finest. Andy Kugler fucking rules.

Our new 12" entitled All Human Failings will be released in February on Free Cake Records.

We're Too Poor To Even Spend Time Together

2008-12-04T13:12:00.000-08:00

I'd like to be together with the people I love more often.

Depressing Day

2008-12-01T21:48:00.000-08:00

I woke up with a headache, and knew that today wasn't going to be the best.

After compulsively dilly-dallying, I managed leave my house just in time to miss the 44. The next bus didn't arrive for another 15 minutes, which isn't the most excruciating thing I've ever had to deal with, but it was cold and I didn't want to go anywhere anyway. Eventually the next bus pulls up, and I get on board and take a seat with the old people and the handicapped folks. As the bus arrived at 9th and Judah, I get off to make my transfer.

While I'm waiting, I leaned against the bus shelter. A guy about my age rides up on a very hip looking track bike and is almost immediately confronted by a drunken wreck of a person looking for spare change. I don't think the track bike kid spoke English, so the drunk switches targets and approaches me asking for change. After pretending to not be able to hear him through my headphones failed to discourage his persistence, I removed my headphones, looked him in the eye and told him that I couldn't help him.

The man starts inching closer to my face and begins exclaiming how ready he is to get a gun and start shooting everybody in his path. I asked him if he was serious.

"Of course I am. Can't you look into my eyes and see that I've had it?"

"Yeah, I can see that."

The man spins around and points at the track kid's bike, but continues addressing me, "I used to have a bike, until some motherfucker stole it!"

"When did your bike get stolen?" I asked him.

"Oh, years ago, when I was a kid. It was a Kuwahara. I had a Mongoose and a Haro too. You know, motherfuckers want to make fun of you when you got something nice. They want to take it from you."

It's always hard to remember that these drunken messes have lives. It's even harder to remember that these people had (and lost) lives that you and I would call normal. The drunken man clearly once had a passion for BMX bikes. He used to care about something other than the plastic bottle of shitty vodka clasped in his purplish, yellow stained hands.

As the man traipsed off, yelling at the people in the bus shelter, I tried to smile and count my blessings, but that just didn't work. As much as I try to sever myself from the grotesque spectacles that confront all of us in life, I just can't. My empathy runs deep. Empathy aside, I also know that my situation is just as tenuous as anyone else's. Fate and fortune have kept me safe for now.

The 43 Masonic pulled up to the stop, so I boarded and walked all the way to the back. I stood for a few stops, and took the first seat that opened up. In the corner of my eye, I could see a tweeky looking dude in a Dark Throne shirt attending to something suspicious in the rearmost seat of the bus. At first I thought he was just hollowing out a blunt or something similarly sketchy. All of a sudden, this dude sitting between me and The Tweeker jumped up, switched seats and started mumbling something under his breath, and eventually ramped up into a full on confrontation with The Tweeker.

For the second time in 20 minutes, my attempt at using my headphones as an excuse to avoid an awkward situation failed.

I couldn't ignore The Angry Man anymore as he started pointing at me and then the floor. I looked down to see multiple streams of liquid trickling down the floor of the bus and toward my shoe. I took my headphones out and asked what it was. The Angry Man said it was water that The Tweeker's dog had thrown up, and continued berating The Tweeker for being disrespectful to the rest of the passengers on the bus.

The Angry Man continued his harangue and The Tweeker eventually brandished a knife. The confrontation had now gotten the attention of the entire bus, and continued on the way those things go.

Realizing that his knife wasn't much of an effective threat to The Angry Man, The Tweeker pulled the wire, and prepared to get off at the next stop. As he grabbed his stuff, I caught my first glimpse of his poor, barely conscious puppy. The Tweeker began to disembark the bus, and muttered the obligatory parting threats which always extend confrontations a few moments longer. As he skipped down the stairs and through the hissing doors, I couldn't stop staring into the puppy's glazed and runny eyes.

I got off at the next stop, heartbroken, and walked to class.

Fading Frontiers

2008-11-27T04:29:00.000-08:00

After bouncing around on a couple of links on some message boards, I came across Charlie Kelly's website. He's posted a lot of really cool pictures of the early Thanksgiving morning bike rides he began organizing in the mid-70's. Seeing CK and his friends on cruiser style bikes (preceding the dawn of the purpose-built mountain bike) really reminds you of what an original concept it was in the beginning. I also can't help but think of all the disgusting homes that have been built in Marin, encroaching on its precious open space.

Combing through CK's account of the early days of mountain biking in Marin was pretty inspiring and stirred up a lot of memories of youth. I may not be the most serious, or able cyclist, but biking has been an inseparable part of my life since the beginning. I had my first bike probably around the age of 2 or 3, and did a lot of riding as a kid.

My bike took me on a lot of adventures. I remember getting in trouble for riding my Sears brand BMX bike from 28th Avenue alllll the way down to 23rd. My mom didn't think it was a good idea for a 7 year old to strike out on his own like that. In retrospect, it was obviously no big deal, but the sense of freedom and rebellion that ride instilled in me was incredible at the time... not to mention totally worth the scolding.

A few years later, I crashed and broke my nose while riding the same bike. For all the danger my mother had hoped to escape in San Francisco, I managed to find some of it in the suburbs. After moving to Novato, I grew out of the BMX bike, and got a mountain bike as a replacement. Sears brand once again, naturally. As I got older still, I started to become way more aware of the level of wealth in my community, and also aware that my family was not keeping up with that standard. Friends of mine began getting more serious about mountain biking, and their parents outfitted them with the name brands that eluded my possession.

The year I turned 13 was pretty special. I must have begged my parents for a "real" mountain bike for Christmas. I probably exercised the "birthday AND Christmas" clause, which all December babies keep as an ace up their sleeve when they want something REALLY special. Whatever I did, it paid off. When I woke up Christmas morning to see a shiny blue Diamondback Sorrento next to the tree, I probably came close to having a heart attack.

Lightweight aluminum frame, quick release wheels, cantilever brakes, 21 speeds, shifters mounted under the handlebars... it was a sight to behold. Sure, it was just a cheapo bike from a chain bike store, but no Sears bike had ever come close to this.

I rode that Diamondback until I was about 15 or 16. I rode it all over town, and through the numerous trails that cut through the Marin County landscape. I'd spend hours jumping my bike off of dirt mounds, or slugging up a hill for what seemed like an hour, all so I could race back down it as fast as I could. I have less fond memories of pedaling my bikes around Michelle Circle once a week on my paper route, but for the most part all my bike memories were very positive.

Until I began to write this, I hadn't realized that my bicycling habit had lapsed for nearly 10 years. About three years ago, I revived the habit, and bought a Raleigh road bike. Since then I've built a couple of fixed gear track bikes and try to get out on the roads at least once or twice a week. Like I said, I'm not a rabid cyclist by any means, but I certainly feel a strong connection to it, and I know that it will always be a part of my life.

Examination (Transit III)

2008-11-24T01:21:00.000-08:00

As the enormous weight is finally unchained
It crashes and falls at an infinite rate
The peace that was once lost in the fray will be reclaimed

We endured a nightmare to see a new day
The winds bring change
The rains erase the memories and tragedies of history
Cast off the past

Weathered the storm and its deafening noise
The havoc it wrought, the treasures destroyed
Recover then revel in the disheveled waste
Winds bring change, the rains erase

The tumbling rubble that all else succumbed to
Becomes calm in the bleak, blackened dawn
Rebuilt and reformed, mended and mourned
The rules that defined us... rewritten

Reborn

Encircle The Spectacle

2008-11-21T13:52:00.000-08:00

Idolatry

2008-11-20T15:24:00.000-08:00

Before I'd settled on the idea that I wanted to be a "graphic designer", Peter Saville's work made a striking impression on me and cemented an idea of perfect design deep in my brain. Saville's style references both the antique and the ultra-modern. Sometimes his work is grounded here on Earth, and other times it reaches deep into the infinite expanse of outer-galactic space. Whatever methods he employs, he always seems to manage to encapsulate and complement the particular concept he's designing around.

While Saville has taken on many projects in his career, the realm that I've had the opportunity to enjoy the most has been his work with Factory Records artists, particularly Joy Division and New Order. His knack for conceptual reinforcement adds a very power dimension to the music. It's so much more than packaging. Saville's ability to create a convincing, and undeniable kinship between his visuals and the sound of music is second to none.

I've heard him dismissed by people calling him dreary, unoriginal and unimaginative, or even artsy for the sake of being artsy. When I hear things like that, it's all too easy for me think, "they just don't get it."

In My Mailbox
Clean Plate Records has been sending out Mind Eraser LPs. I got mine today. It's heavy.

To Be Delivered
• Arkitip Magazine just reached into my wallet and took $75. Check out their new issue featuring Peter Saville. I'll be patiently awaiting the day it arrives.

• Masshysteri - Vår Del Av Stan. I'm really anticpating this little Swedish gem. Feral Ward hasn't posted ordering information about the USA release, so I went straight to Ny Våg Records for the Euro press.

• Speaking of Feral Ward, I picked up a bunch of stuff from them the other day. That will be an exciting mail day.

Studio Time

2008-11-20T00:38:00.000-08:00

Tonight, I'm poring over the demo tracks that my band recorded at our last practice. We're gearing up to put in some solid rehearsal time in anticipation of our upcoming recording dates in December, so I'm refining my guitar harmonies and overdubs, making production notes and finalizing my lyrics and vocal patterns. I live for this kind of preparation!

Spending time in the studio always gives you the chance to nail down the songs you've written and push them to their full potential. The experience is rewarding and exciting, but this time it feels different; my usual eagerness is amplified tenfold. I've become unsually attached to the songs we've written and feel a bit of responsibility to ensure that they're perfectly represented and preserved on tape.

However, all the excitement of recording is tempered by a bittersweet feeling of uncertainty. A strange phenomenon seems to occur time and time again, where every recording session feels like it's bound to be my last. I suppose it's hard for one to imagine anything being more perfect than the project they're presently working on. Time always proves me wrong, but the feeling is still unshakable.

This post could go on all night long, so I'll close with a list of all the recording sessions that I can recall off the top of my head. I might have forgotten a few, but this is certainly the majority of my studio experiences.

My Bands
03/2002 - Never Again, Demo - 5 tracks
09/2002 - The Mourning Dawn, Demo - 4 tracks
04/2003 - These Days, Demo - 7 tracks
08/2003 - These Days, Death Sentence, 4 tracks (scrapped)
11/2003 - These Days, Death Sentence, 5 tracks
02/2004 - These Days, Demo/Spiderghost compilation, 3 tracks
05/2004 - The Mourning Dawn, 1931-1981 - 13 tracks
10/2004 - These Days, s/t - 12 tracks
12/2004 - Ceremony, Demo - 6 tracks
01/2005 - These Days, s/t Mixing
??/2005 - Your Kids, Demo (scrapped) - 4 tracks
??/2005 - Acoustic demos, home recordings
??/2006 - Acoustic demos, home recordings
03/2007 - These Days, Chained to the Lake - 10 tracks
04/2007 - Skin Like Iron, Demo - 9 tracks
06/2007 - Skin Like Iron, Conquest - 5 tracks
07/2007 - Skin Like Iron, Wisdom demos - 5 tracks
08/2007 - Skin Like Iron, Wisdom & Conquest II - 9 tracks
01/2008 - Skin Like Iron, 10" - 9 tracks
03/2008 - Skin Like Iron, Quake City 7" - 2 tracks
09/2008 - Skin Like Iron, 7" demos - 4 tracks

Other Bands
??/2004 - Vocals on Lifelong Tragedy, Destined For Anything
??/2004 - Vocals on Days to Streaks, Demo (I later joined this band)
??/2005 - Vocals on At Risk, s/t
??/2006 - Vocals on Trash Talk, Walking Disease
??/2007 - Vocals on Ramparts, Demo

Looking back at where I started at the age of 20, and looking ahead a few weeks to where I'll be on my 27th birthday, it's amazing how much has occurred in such a short period of time. Here's to hoping that I'm able to continue dredging my creative wells for some time to come.

November 18th, 1978

2008-11-19T20:01:00.000-08:00

30 years ago, yesterday, most of the followers of Jim Jones' People's Temple perished in a mass suicide. The grisly, yet fascinating demonstration of Jones' control over his followers illustrates the power of man and mind. How does one identify, penetrate and exploit the needs of his disaffected followers? How is one so injured mentally that they seek out and submit to such control?

Once this control is established, anything is possible. The malleability of someone enthralled by a demigod such as Jones is easy to understand. Fear, abuse and deceit can ensure compliance, but how is that door even opened? I certainly don't have an answer... merely curiosity.

Listen to the audio recording of the suicide sermon.

I can't make mention of Jim Jones without also tipping my hat to...

Masshysteri

2008-11-17T11:26:00.001-08:00

No, they're not saying "we've got the tall tees", apparently. I hear that Masshysteri will be coming to our shores in April. Very exciting.

Also exciting:
A record that I recently refused to pay $35 for on eBay was offered to me by its seller for $5. Apparently whoever outbid me by $30 didn't intend to actually pay that kind of money. I know there's some Vivian Girls hype going on right now (hey, that's what caught my interest), but come on... oh well, I guess I came up pretty good on this one.

Metallica

2008-11-15T11:11:00.000-08:00

At this point, the phrase "remember when Metallica was good?" has become a well-worn cliche. I know that I'm really not offering any original insight on the matter, so with that said, I ask, do you remember when Metallica was good?

Rediscovering This Blog

2008-11-11T15:52:00.000-08:00

I just dredged up this blog that I created for a school project last semester. I think I'd like to keep it updated more regularly.

Here's a map of the route that I took on my walk this morning. It was a short walk, but I took some cool pictures. I also found a creepy little staircase that cuts right down through the sidewalk and drops you down on the street below.

Walking Route

April 25th at Gilman

2008-04-28T00:32:00.001-07:00

Alex Capasso / Skin Like Iron - Photo by Jessica Snyder

This week we played two shows with Pulling Teeth (Baltimore) and Circles (Vancouver). The first show was Wednesday in Santa Cruz at the 418 Project. Having been home for only 36 hours at that point and having jumped headlong back into our work and school schedules, we were jet-lagged and beat up, but we pulled it off, I think.

The second home-coming show was on Friday at 924 Gilman. The Separation (heavy and political - Redding, CA), Pulling Teeth and Circles were awesome that night. Punch (frantic/hyperkinetic - San Francisco, CA) also played, and they blew me away. I'm usually not so impressed with bands that I just happen to see, without having heard before, but Punch really kills. I regret not seeing Conquest for Death's performance, but I really needed some fresh air and I had to step outside for a while.

Next show is at the Bike Kitchen!

Photos from SLI 2008 Tour

2008-04-25T15:30:00.000-07:00

All Photos © 2008 Alex Capasso
Skin Like Iron Spring Tour 2008

Drew in Baltimore. Baltimore is the dirtiest, most decrepit city I've personally seen with my own eyes.

Paul got another Black Flag tattoo... in New Jersey. Yuck.

NYC Subway

Kill Your Idols played their last show at the same place we played in Brooklyn. Kill Your Idols was one of the first hardcore bands I ever saw. Very cool.

Me in downtown Providence. Photo by Paul Ehat.

Heading home.

Skin Like Iron - East Coast Tour 2008

2008-04-25T15:21:00.000-07:00

April 15th - April 20th

Philadelphia, PA
Baltimore, MD
New Brunswick, NJ
Brooklyn, NY
Boston, MA
Providence, RI

Blind Iced Eyes

Disappear

Love This Flyer

Skin Like Iron "Arrival" Record Release Gig

Instagram

Poster Drafts

Barry McGee Super 8 footage

Frisco

Happy New Year

Next Friday

Secret People

Reason Refrains

Cleo from 5 to 7

Pat Robertson Is an Asshole

Black Flames

Survival Is Not A Right

More Images

Liliom

Happy Birthday, Sammy Winston

Image Works

Animals

Bruce Roehrs

Nothing Remains II

Eyes & Nine Days

Friday, March 26th

Neurotic Organization

Deutsch Kunst in der Punk-Rock-Bilder

Type As Image

The Photos of Walter Yetman

Sightglass

More Type Experiments

"I know that guy!"

Type Experiments

Punishment

More Poster Designs

Skateboarding

Trash Talk

Emigre Exhibition

Poster Cabaret

So Many Books, So Little Time

Fan Dub? What's a Fan Dub?

Blacklisted in California

Requisite Reflective First Post of the Year

Humanity Is The Devil - Issues IX through XI

September

Back To School

An Open Letter To Straights

Humanity Is The Devil

Always wear your helmet

Zines

San Francisco's Doomed Fest!

Record Pickups

Pop-Punk

Humanity Is The Devil - Issues V through VIII

Humanity Is The Devil - Issues I through IV

Goodbye, Matt Mahoney

Oscar Grant murdered by BART police

A Little Bit of Recent SF History

Death at a young age...

Happy Holidays from Taiwan

1996

Birthdays

Dave Grohl on Drums

Headline News

Dominic Mallary

Economic Grousings

Academic Overload & Procrastination

Recording Revisited

We're Too Poor To Even Spend Time Together

Depressing Day

Fading Frontiers

Examination (Transit III)

Encircle The Spectacle

Idolatry

Studio Time

November 18th, 1978

Masshysteri

Metallica

Rediscovering This Blog

April 25th at Gilman